How to choose the change you need.
I walked into the chapel taking in the ambience, the groom standing at the altar was resplendent in his suit. The musicians played acoustic guitar and piano, calming the excited chatter of people seeing old friends. I took my seat in the middle of the benched rows with a buzz of anticipation. We had been told which song would be playing when the bride had arrived. Until then the buss continued to grow. The whole crowd stood when the groom started to play his song for the bride to be and I saw her in the entrance way, glowing with happiness. My partner held my hand gently as the bride sashayed down the aisle and I knew that he was remembering our special day twelve years ago. I could feel a tear building at the edge of my eyes, I was so happy that this new couple who have so many years of joy ahead for them. Listening to the exchange of vows and the promises they were choosing to make one another lifted my spirits and opened my hear t to the moment.
I recently attended the wedding of an old friend. I was so happy that he had thought of me and my husband to attend. I have kept in touch with him through Facebook but we hadn't seen each other in many years as he lives interstate. You know that you have a true friendship with someone when you don't need to see each other every day. When you do catch up, it only takes a short while to feel the kinship again. While I was watching the commitment ceremony I could people watch the other guests. There were people who were just starting out on their own, others that were settled in their existence and some that were the same as me, plodding a long day by day.
I realised that we are all trying to make our way in this world the best that we can and when certain things pop up to challenge our state of grace we are in recovery mode. One step behind, constantly struggling to catch up. I know that the kids feel it when we are behind on things; the house isn't as clean as we would like, or in some cases it is overly clean. We have to say no to the things that they want because we can't afford it. We have to work longer hours to make ends meet in the budget. We are not really there when we are home because there is too much stress. But all of these problems were washed away in the moment of the wedding.
When attending the reception I noticed that the people that were older and more settled in to their way of life seemed to have everything together. Or they looked as if they did. There was no judgement, it was just a celebration of the unity of the bride and groom. It was as if there was magic in the air, bringing out the best in the people that were in the crowd.
There are other things that I think bring out the magic of the moment. Other than weddings, there are births, deaths, and in some cases graduations and older birthdays. Younger birthdays have a different feel about them. Other events can have a zen feel about them, camping, fishing, walking on the beach/river or long distance travel.
I hope that I have a chance to bring to kids to some of these celebrations of life, love and unity in the future, then I can see if they feel the magic too. Talk to them about how you have made it to where you are today and where you would like to be in the future.
Open up a discussion about
Past - where you have come from and what you were like at your child's age. Not as a comparison, just peek in to remember.
Future - what you want in your life and where you see your family in a years, 5 years, 10 years.
Now - Take stock of what you have so you can appreciate how far you have come.
Every time you talk about your history and your dreams you are letting your child get to know the real you. Hopefully that will mean when they hit their teenage years it won't be a shock.
If you see your Child stopping to asses a situation and see if it is the best thing for them to be doing. Let them know that is a good thing and reward them.
If you see your child jumping in to something without thinking, something that could be dangerous then take some chips away.