Identity and choice

Like many of us, when I was young, I daydreamed about the future I saw for myself. I strived to push toward that which I envisioned as an ideal life. I saw myself as a Hairdresser, a Lawyer, a musician, a chef. I wanted to tell stories for a living, and have the chance to be a Mum at some time in the future. The potential was limitless.

I think like most people, I pondered the reality of these positions and considered could I do that job? I studied hard and tried to keep an many doors open as I could, but without realising it, every choice that I made set me on a new path. There were some more poignant choices that impacted my pathway more than others. But realistically, every decision started to cement my identity and the limitless potential seemed to shrink in on itself. It became my truth. It took me a long time to understand that my truth was not the only truth. That we have the chance to change and grow at any time in our life, it's just a little harder when there are so many other things filling your mind.

I am now in my 40's. I have walked many different pathways. Some of them have been easier than others, when they have aligned with my lifes design. I am married (for more than 19 years), to an exceptional husband. I have 3 precious children who have grown into unique and inspiring people. It hasn't always easy, but my Husband and children are my world. I would do anything for them. I strived to help them be the best that they can be, as is the want of most partners and parents.

I have worked in customer service, small business, as a cook, a finance officer and many, many other different jobs. Everything I have done has increased my experience level and moved my path in a different direction. A different building block toward the home of my identity.

While working in all these different roles, there was always an undercurrent that relished a creative flair. A spark that would light up when I shared my stories and learnt more about how good stories worked. It was fun and inspiring. Very much an escape from the mundane reality. My mind would wander to these intricate creations whenever it had a free moment to ponder.

When the children were much younger we would have endless discussions about the most wonderous circumstances. Magic systems and consequences of actions. Millions of scenarios where there was not limit. The mind of a child is the most brilliant spark. It continued to inspire me to develop new scenarios that would make us think outside the box. I fondly remember those days. They are all now teenagers and have less interest in walking through fantasy scenarios.

The optimist in me, decided with the support of my Husband to start writing full time about 8 years ago. I resigned my then position and committed to the craft. I went to conferences and workshops, I pitched to agents and submitted my works to editors. I completed several courses to support this new pathway. While I was waiting for the response from an agent I thought that I would start a Podcast called Finding Elara. It was so much fun talking to other Authors, Artists and Creatives about how they lived with their creative spark.

We discussed worldbuilding, Goalsetting, Accountability and Mindfulness. The discussions were light and fun, and there was always something cool that I learnt from each and every guest. I did this for 38 Episodes and build quite the list. I was very proud of my efforts and would have continued with the show if we could afford it. At the time, due to where we live in the wheatbelt all three of our children needed to go to boarding school or be left to do 3/4 of their classwork on Side. This wasn't ideal, you need an actual teacher that is there to answer questions. Some of the side classes were better than others. But one of my daughters came home from school one day and told me that the supervisor teacher recommended she google a solution to the problem she was facing. Hubby and I knew that something had to change.

I was working as a School bus driver part time and the rest of my time on the podcast and my books. I thought I could go back to full time work and still continue writing on the weekends. It wasn't really the case. I was exhausted at my new job and didn't have the mental space left after a 12hr day to work more at home. So I chose to let the show go an immerse my self into the new paid work. It is now almost 6 years later, almost all the children have finished their schooling (1 to go) and I have the opportunity to come home again. But now i am coming from experience.

I have a small team of people that I am working to make this show a success again. There is an Audio editor who is an absolute godsend! I have someone helping with the social media content and there are a few sponsors within Ko-fi (www.ko-fi.com/findingelara) that have joined the Shadow lair for exclusive content. I have a line up of guests that are keen to come onto the show and we are orchestrating an even bigger giveaway this time. We are calling it a treasure chest and every 5 guests donate some loot. There is a key word that we mention on the show so i know that it is listeners that are putting their name in. We are also doing the whole, if you register your interest and then share posts on social media you get more points. This is our first trial so we will see if it is worth the effort. I love the idea, but so much has changed in the last 6 years while i have been working away that maybe give-aways aren't as much of a thing as they once were? I would love to hear your thoughts on that. https://www.bushlandcastleproductions.com/treasure-chest

We have already released 6 episodes for what we are calling the second season and I have 15 interviews in total lined up so there will be 30 episodes in the end. There has been so much laughter in the episodes so far that I am sure I will continue to enjoy creating them.

My writing in some ways are back to the beginning. I have decided to Merge ideas and change the Elaran story from a YA to an adult fiction. There are some deeper concepts that I didn't think I wanted to touch in YA that I am happy to add in Epic fantasy, but I have a 120k manuscript that needs some serious editing at the moment, so it is going to be a long while before I let anyone see the work. While that draft is in the neutral phase I am working on a biographical memoir about a local lady who lived in Perth in the 70s, so i hope to have that draft finished in the next month or so.

I am also Pitching for a novella series about Otherworldly Emergence. It is with Bushland Castle Productions and I am so excited by the concept of themed novella series'. They are open for submissions now if you are also interested in Pitching https://www.bushlandcastleproductions.com/emergence They are only after people who have a solid concept for the story at the moment. The submissions Close on the 7th of July and the Manuscript is Due on the 10th of October. If your pitch is successful then you will be added to a community that will provide accountability meetings, editing support and a community environment. Once all the Authors have been selected then we will talk about the running theme throughout the series and see how it all aligns. We have a solid plan for the next 3 years of these stories, both fiction and Non-fiction and it is going to be worth watching this space to see how it all goes.

I am not going to make any promises about how often I will write on this blog, but I will be writing regularly with Bushland Castle Productions (BCP) , so if you want a stable regular blog then please subscribe there. This page is for my personal pondering and any things that have caught my introspection that I thought may be interesting to share.

In this case, it is the face that I am 41 years old and I have published low content books that are very cool. But my novels is still a dream. I am writing every day in a journal and I continued to tell myself that I can do this like a mantra sometimes, and I do feel it in my bones. I am excited about what can happen in the future with my stories and with BCP. This is a fine time to choose what I want to be and how I want to see the future play out. Until next time my friends. Take a moment to think about the choices that have brought you wo where you are today. Are you happy and optimistic about what is happening in in your life? It is your choices and your story. If you ever want to share, I am happy to listen.